Last Sunday, I was sitting in the Student Lounge after my usual breakfast of bagel with fresh beluga caviar, starfruit smoothie with Oikos-brand Greek yogurt, and a small piece of dark Peruvian chocolate. Lounging in my pajamas, bleary-eyed and whatever the opposite of bushy-tailed is, I reflected that maybe it hadn't been a good idea to attempt to read the entirety of War and Peace in one night.
In my defense, though, I couldn't help it. The other day, an old friend called me. This friend was the type that was always certain of saving the world through whatever means were readily available and not socially strenuous in high school. Not a meditator; and certainly not a moral or political mastermind; this friend's true passion was making posters, I think. Anyway, after hanging up with her, I remembered how isolated I'd felt in high school because I couldn't connect with, or even really find anger towards, ideals such as hers. I wondered how it'd feel to engage in something inherently doomed and, well, War and Peace was sitting right in front of me. My eyeballs burned from all the reading I did. I made it to page 112 of 1112.
But I digress. Anyway, there I was in the student lounge, lazily reading Watchmen and trying not to fall asleep, when a grown young man walked in wearing a pink tutu and a bicycle helmet. Now, my first instinct was to say, "Ah, excellent! He's expressing a sense of self that differs vastly from mine. Carry on!" But something held me back, probably the twelve girls and four other guys standing right behind him in similar attire.
Something, apparently, was Going On.
"Hey, what's going on?" I asked a young lady innocently.
"Hey, where's the clue?" she asked one of her companions, conveniently not hearing me. Then the group went into another room for a brief period of time, re-emerging blindfolded,
June 04, 2009
May 30, 2009
RPGs
I recently learned how to play Role Playing Games. I don't know how to describe this any better, so: Think of Dungeons and Dragons. Now laugh at how simpleminded, and yes, daft you are for comparing that outdated fossil to some of the sophisticated campaigns that comprise the RPG genre.
Only cool in an ironic sense
You see what I'm trying to say? This is hard-core nerd stuff I'm learning about. Anyway, here are some of my initial thoughts. Keep in mind that I'm a n00b at this RPG stuff, so if I accidentally seem to imply that dexterity is an attribute of intelligence, don't bite my head off!
- Although I understand that one must act the part of one's character in an RPG, I'm still skeptical that you have to actually sword fight with actual swords every time you come across an enemy.
-Further, I'd like to find a game in which rolling triple sixes isn't a "party foul," requiring the roller to disrobe and run a lap around the house.
-Does the person running the game really have the built-in power to "call the players 'cuckolded scallywags,' whenever he finds it convenient?"
-Finally, I just want to state that if you're ever not doing anything for a good six hours, RPGs are a great way to completely lose track of time.
May 27, 2009
May 26, 2009
May 24, 2009
Summer
Everybody I've ever talked to says something to this effect: "Yeah, in the summertime, I eat three crackers and a popsicle, and drink one unsweetened iced tea, and I'm so full that I couldnt possibly eat another bite for the rest of the day." Meaning, of course, that the summer makes their appetites decrease. But I'm just the opposite, and it's infuriating!
Right now, it's eleven o'clock at night, and I'm almost ready for bed, and all I can think about is a nice lasagna, a tuna steak, or a nice box of Lucky Charms. To me, it seems natural that I would be hungrier in the summer: the heat makes me sweat more, takes more out of me, etc, etc. But nobody ever seems to sympathize with this of all problems. Why is it that nobody want to eat more than two graham crackers and a single piece of candy corn in the summer months other than me?
I can remember as far back as fifth grade, playing parking lot baseball (in which we used one hundred feet of parking lot, tennis balls, and aluminum bats), hearing my "bigger" friends talk about all the weight they were losing, since they simply didn't eat. Even my athletic friend, the guy that was the number two pitcher for the all-star tournament, would mention that he'd lost ten pounds and was developing a "six pack abdominal set," which I would later find out was a BIG deal with many of the ladies at my middle school.
I never really developed this all-important six pack, because I get hungry in the winter, and hungrier in the summer. I must have been a prince in a past life, because I have the weirdest, most highly developed- even petulant- appetites. But that's peripheral. It just seems weird, why is it that so many people don't want to eat in the summer, and that's all I think about?
May 22, 2009
May 21, 2009
May 20, 2009
May 19, 2009
Green Lumberjacks
Today was Green Lumberjack Tuesday, and also pizza day. Local band Scud Missile performed in the cafeteria, and from what I understand it was a real "hootnanny." Of course, I missed it all, being attacked by an unusually voracious strain of allergies, but my spirit was most definitely with those fine young men and women who dressed up in the name of Awareness. I did eat an avocado today, which is green, so in some sense the contribution was there, as well.
However, that's all in the past. Tomorrow is the Hippy Flowerchild Rollerskating Extravaganza Bonanza, in which we all dress up in "far-out" vintage costumes and then go rollerskating after class. It promises to be cool, but filled with flower power, like the Mario Brothers.
But this sets a dilemma in front of me: I don't have any "cool" vintage outfits. All I have are t-shirts and jeans, and they're great, but they don't make me look like I've protested anything lately. They're not even ratty and old, where I could look super-authentic; they're just vaguely faded like every pair of clothes gets when you've had it for six or eight months. This won't deter me from having a good time, however; it's just kind of a bummer. But I do look forward to seeing everybody else with flowers in their hair, flowers everywhere, and to skating the night away until 9:30 or 10:00 at night.
