Yesterday, I wrote about ninjas vs. pirates, and I took the position that ninjas were the superior sect. Today, to present a balanced view of the situation, I am going to describe pirates' mastery of ninjas.
Pirates have a long history of patrolling the seven seas, charting unknown territories, and working in Long John Silvers. Although some people think pirates cry all the time, that's just untrue: the figure is closer to 75% of their waking hours. Although ninjas are highly trained, well-disciplined super-humans, pirates have their own, highly demanding training. To become a pirate, you either have to, a) ask if you can be one; or b) be too drunk to stop pirates from pressing you into service. Nobody knows where the first pirate came from, although many scholars suggest a sort of man/ape hybrid; a swashbuckling feces-flinger, if you will.
Ninjas, on the other hand, are way less cool. I mean, honestly, how many good movies or tv shows do you see about ninjas? Other than Ninja Scrolls; The Shogun Assassin; 3 Ninjas; Batman Begins; Beverly Hills Ninjas; Elektra; Mortal Kombat; Tekken; and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Pirates have a lot of good movies, too, if you define "pirate movies" as "anything directed by Stanley Kubrik."
Pirates are just way cooler than pirates. And if the guy in this video doesn't convince you, I really think the whole issue is lost.
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