A big event is sweeping the campus this weekend. Excitement is building to a fever-pitch over next block's "Shakespeare's Festival of Comedy," and increasing numbers of students are showing their support for the popular class. You haven't lived until you've walked across a campus and people are shouting things such as, "Move, swineherder," and "Get thee to a nunnery, wan vagabond!" But that's just the culture among the youngsters these days; they love nothing better than the popular practice of "Billy Clubbing," namely dressing up in tights and puffy shirts with lacy collars and then going out to dance the night away. Billy, of course, being a bastardization of William, and clubbing the "slang" term for dancing tiresomely.
At least, that's what I assume has been going on. I really haven't "kept up with yon Joneses," so to speak, because I've been too busy celebrating to make sure that everybody else is as excited as I am. I mean, I'm not suggesting that they aren't; I just mean that I held a "Capulets and Montagues: Nothing But Love Now" party, and the only two people who showed up weren't even dressed in period clothing! Everyone must have been Billy Clubbing. But I've been reading a lot of Shakespeare lately, and there really is a lot of timeless truth in his words, some of which I've already applied to my life.
For example, the phrase "brevity is the soul of wit." I was supposed to write a three page report in my current class. But I just wrote, "All knowledge is one" on a cocktail napkin and put my name on it. Brilliant!
Or, there's the delightful, memorialized, "For my part, it was all Greek to me." If you want to be popular at parties, just sprinkle all of your conversations with that phrase, especially when talking about religion and politics. Also, it doubles as a witty bon mot that can be thrown into a serious conversation after a person has been talking at length. And you don't even have to be involved in the conversation; you can just "toss it in" like a smelly hand grenade. Believe me, nothing garners more popularity than this phrase.
You'll totally be cooler than that guy.
Then, finally, the phrase, "Give me my robe, put on my crown; I have Immortal longings in me." That last one, I think, is self-explanatory, although I was surprised at the number of people who told me to "maybe sit this one out, champ, and get some rest tonight," whatever that means.
Anyway, until next time, this is the man your English teacher wouldn't stop going on about in high school:
I think the earring is a classy touch. I'll be reading King Lear. Later.
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